You’d think that step 1 in performing an autopsy would be: Check for a pulse. You know — just in case.

A Venezuelan man who had been declared dead woke up in the morgue in excruciating pain after medical examiners began their autopsy.

Carlos Camejo, 33, was declared dead after a highway accident and taken to the morgue, where examiners began an autopsy only to realize something was amiss when he started bleeding. They quickly sought to stitch up the incision on his face.

“I woke up because the pain was unbearable,” Camejo said, according to a report on Friday in leading local newspaper El Universal.

His grieving wife turned up at the morgue to identify her husband’s body only to find him moved into a corridor — and alive.

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I’m not surpised so many fans of both schools never actually attended the colleges they root for. I’d consider it amazing if one of them even made it past third grade.

The shocking case has set off a raging debate in this football-crazed region about the extreme passions behind a bitter rivalry. Some legal observers have even questioned whether this case could ever truly have an impartial jury.

“I’ve actually heard callers on talk radio say that this guy deserved what he got for wearing a Texas T-shirt into a bar in the middle of Sooner country,” said Irven Box, an attorney in this city 20 miles from Oklahoma’s campus in Norman.

According to police, 32-year-old Texas fan Brian Christopher Thomas walked into Henry Hudson’s Pub on June 17 wearing a Longhorns T-shirt and quickly became the focus of football “trash talk” from another regular, 53-year-old Oklahoma fan Allen Michael Beckett.

Thomas told police that when he decided to leave and went to the bar to pay his tab, Beckett grabbed him in the crotch, pulled him to the ground and wouldn’t let go, even as bar patrons tried to break it up. When the two men were separated, Thomas looked down and realized the extent of his injuries.

“He could see both of his testicles hanging on the outside of his body,” said Thomas’ attorney, Carl Hughes. “He was wearing a pair of white shorts, which made it that much worse.”

It took more than 60 stitches to close the wound, and police interviewed Thomas at a nearby hospital emergency room.

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“They killed everybody here except my sister, my brother and me,” he told dispatchers. “There was a guy with a pistol or some kind of gun and shot my mother and my grandma.”

When he was then transfered to Kentucky State Police, the child said the pair had been shot. The dispatcher asked if they went to a doctor. When the child said no, the dispatcher asked where they were.

“They’re dead in my house,” the 9-year-old said. “There’s blood splattered everywhere.”

Officials said Burke, the children’s mother, was Comer’s former daughter-in-law. Investigators said there was no evidence of forced entry or domestic violence and they are searching for suspects who might have invaded the home and killed the women.

Police said the children have been placed in counseling.

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He should have tried rubbing their bellies, it makes them sleepy.

CAPE York stockman David George has spent seven nights up a tree in a crocodile-infested swamp, bleeding and with little food - and lived to tell the tale.

The father-of-one and co-manager at Silver Plains cattle station yesterday told his remarkable tale of survival and rescue by chopper in rugged bushland near Coen, in the state’s remote far north.

“Every night I was stalked by two crocs who would sit at the bottom of the tree staring up at me,” Mr George recalled yesterday.

“All I could see was two sets of red eyes below me and all night I had to listen to a big bull croc bellowing a bit further out.

“I’d yell out at them, ‘I’m not falling out of this tree for you bastards’.”

Dazed and bleeding after a tumble from his horse earlier this month, the bushie had given the horse its head in the pre-dawn dark to get him home – only to find it had taken him more than a kilometre into the heart of a croc swamp.

“I had to get off the horse and fall on the long 8ft-high swamp grass to clear a path, when I fell straight into a crocodile nest,” he said.

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Aren’t toy guns supposed to have bright orange barrels or something? At least here in the US they do. But, after all, what do we know about guns? Jesus, has common sense jumped out the window? Does anyone think that a 10 year old is going to have a real M-16 in England of all places?

Brodie Pearsall is no any ordinary 10-year-old boy. At this tender age, which child can say they’ve had an entire police force after them?After showing off his new £10 (about R150) toy gun to his friends, in a matter of minutes he was surrounded by armed police.

Officers with dogs ordered Brodie to put down the 18in weapon, reports the Daily Mirror.

Shocked neighbours called the police after spotting the realistic-looking gun.

But Brodie’s mum Gail, of Cradley Heath, West Midlands, said: “Brodie was in tears. They were shouting at him instead of talking to me. I think the whole thing is ridiculous.”

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14 and 16… normally I’d say, “why didn’t they just beat the shit out of these punks?”, but yeah. When this particular species of punk reaches said ages, they’re already built like silverback mountain gorillas and it’s unlikely a woman and her prepubescent son could overtake them.  I’d pose that she might have fared better if she had a gun, but obviously that’s no guarantee.

I think you are all a bunch of judgemental closed minded people. These boys were just misunderstood. They didn’t mean to hurt her or her son.

If the gub’ment had just given their mama’s more welfare money this wouldn’t have had to happen. If the gub’ment and whitey would just bein’ all in their face they wouldn’t have to act out all their rage against the man.

See they are men now. Now they gonna be gettin’ da’ respect on the street. And respect from the hoes and bitches.

Two teenagers were accused of gang raping a woman and forcing her 12-year-old son to join in the attack, then beating him and pouring cleaning solution into his eyes.Authorities allege Avion Lawson, 14, and Nathan Walker, 16, were among a group of about 10 masked suspects who forced their way into the woman’s apartment in a crime-ridden housing project the night of June 18.

The two were being held without bail Friday on suspicion of armed sexual battery by multiple perpetrators, sexual performance by a child, armed home invasion and aggravated battery. Both were arrested this week, but formal charges had not been filed. Authorities said the two would be charged as adults.

“Any rape case is horrible but this takes it to another level, something you can’t think of even in your worst dreams,” police spokesman Ted White said.

According to the police report, a man knocked on the woman’s door at about 9 p.m. and told her he had a flat tire. The mother and son, whom police have not identified, went outside and were ambushed by a group of gun-wielding suspects.

The victims told police they were forced back into their home and beaten and sexually assaulted. According to authorities, the men raped, sodomized and beat the woman, then forced her son to participate in the assault at gunpoint, making him have sex with his mother in front of them.

The boy was then beaten and had numerous household cleaning liquids poured into his eyes, according to the police report.

The suspects also stole a few hundred dollars worth of cash and jewelry, White said.

White said more arrests were expected, but he would not say whether authorities had identified additional suspects. The teens in custody were not cooperating, but Lawson confessed to taking part in the attack, White said. Walker has denied involvement, White said.

DNA evidence in a condom found in the victims’ home linked Lawson to the crime, police said. Investigators also say they found a palm print belonging to Walker at the scene.

The victims did not suffer life-threatening injuries and have been released from the hospital, White said.

“They’re going through the county victim services for counseling,” he said.Lawson lived in Dunbar Village, the hardscrabble project where the attack occurred. Walker was apparently visiting a friend there, White said.

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A groin kick is always a serious injury.

A Big Oak Valley woman is in jail after allegedly threatening her husband with a sword and a loaded shotgun, then kicking a sheriff’s deputy in the groin and shattering a window of a sheriff’s cruiser with her feet.

Cheryl Elizabeth Tohkubbi, 43, was arrested shortly after 2 a.m. Tuesday at the home she shared with her 65-year-old husband on the 23000 block of St. Helena Drive.

Tohkubbi called 911 at 2:05 a.m. to report she needed a bandage and said her husband was “hurting her mentally.”

“When (deputies) got there, she was standing on the front porch, saying ‘Don’t come any closer,’” Nevada County Sheriff Keith Royal said. “She said if they came any closer, she’d get a gun and shoot.”

Deputies circled around the back of the house, then surprised Tohkubbi from behind, he said.

“She kicked one officer in the groin, then kicked the side window of the cruiser out,” Royal said.

Tohkubbi’s husband told officers his wife was acting strangely when he returned home from work several hours prior to the incident, Royal said.

Tohkubbi allegedly told her husband she had cut her leg while chasing a deer.

“He got dressed and was going to take her to the emergency room, but she said no,” Royal said.

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This does not surprise me yet people smoke anyway. Including myself, yum, this stuff is great!

One billion people will die of tobacco-related diseases this century unless governments in rich and poor countries alike get serious about preventing smoking, top World Health Organization (WHO) experts said on Monday.

You could have the best of both worlds if only you allowed smoking on the planes as they went down

“Tobacco is a defective product. It kills half of its customers,” Douglas Bettcher, head of the WHO’s Tobacco Free Initiative, said at the start of an international conference in Bangkok to draw up a masterplan for the world to kick the habit.

“It kills 5.4 million people per year and half of those deaths are in developing countries. That’s like one jumbo jet going down every hour,” he said.

With smoking rates in many developing countries on the rise, particularly among teenagers, that annual death toll would rise to 8.3 million within the next 20 years, he added.

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I always say, when the kids start acting up…pack your suitcases, we’re off to Playland…they know what I mean, and pipe down real quick.

NEW YORK – A young woman died in an accident on a gyrating ride with a deadly history at a landmark amusement park, a police spokesman said.The woman was killed while riding the Mind Scrambler around 9:30 p.m. Friday at Playland Amusement Park in Rye, N.Y., said Westchester County Police spokesman Kieran O’Leary.

Emergency workers responded quickly, but “but there wasn’t very much anybody could do for her,” O’Leary said. The woman, who was in her 20s, was pronounced dead at the scene, he said.

Police were investigating early Saturday, and no details about the circumstances of the accident were available. The woman’s name was not released because authorities were working to notify her family, and it was not known whether she was riding the Mind Scrambler alone or with friends, O’Leary said.

The indoor attraction spins riders around in a darkened tent with flashing lights. It was the scene of another fatal accident on May 22, 2004, when 7-year-old Stephanie Dieudonne wriggled free of the restraining bar on one of the cars, knelt on the seat and fell soon after the ride started, according to investigators.

The amusement park was not cited for any violations or required to make improvements to the ride after the girl’s death, but officials announced plans to add seat belts, more lighting and a second attendant at the Mind Scrambler.

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These guys have no idea what they are talking about…… just get a coat hanger! Cheap, easy and effective. Get ‘em early, that’s my motto.

They are a popular accessory for parents hoping to keep their children entertained on long car journeys.

But back-seat DVD players could kill a child in a crash at only 18mph, safety tests have shown.

The screens - commonly strapped to the back of front seats and costing a few hundred pounds - can easily fly off in a collision, hitting rear passengers in the head.

The problem relates to the systems bought as accessories - rather those which are built into the back of headrests.

In a simulated collision, the DVD screen was sent hurtling from the front- seat headrest into the head of a crash-test ‘baby’ sitting in a child safety seat in the back.

The test showed mobile phones and satnav systems in holders attached to the dashboard or windscreen could also fly loose, hitting passengers’ legs and feet.

The phone holders, which are fixed to the interior using suction pads, stayed in place but the phones inside were thrown out.

A satnav system in a similar holder remained in place but one attached to an air vent flew through car.

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