Tuesday, January 6, 2009

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Absurd, strange, twisted and funny

Archive for the ‘Strange’ Category

Pond eats worker

Posted by admin On June - 28 - 2007
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Most likely had suspenders on, sometimes the water will put pressure around the boot area, probably panicked. Well well well, oh well.

Domingo Lorenzo Ramos, 20, an employee with Environmental Water Management in Santa Ana, was clearing dead algae from the pond when the waist-high waders he was wearing apparently filled with water, weighing and pulling him down, said Dean Fryer, a spokesman with The California Division of Occupational Safety and Health.

“It looks like he may have slipped,” Fryer said.

Medical examiner’s investigator James Buckley said Ramos is survived by family in Guadalajara, Mexico. An autopsy will be conducted today.

Police Lt. Kelly Cain said Ramos, who was believed to have been on his first day on the job, was standing in the pond on a 3-ft. lip near a ledge that dropped 14-ft., and possibly stepped off into the deep area.

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Wrestler + wife + son found dead

Posted by admin On June - 27 - 2007
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He probably pinned his son for the 3 second count.

WWE wrestler Chris Benoit, his wife and son were found dead Monday, and police said they were investigating the deaths as a murder-suicide.

WAGA-TV reported investigators believe the 40-year-old Benoit killed his wife, Nancy, and 7-year-old son, Daniel, over the weekend, then himself on Monday. The bodies were found in three rooms.

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Human Cock Fighting

Posted by admin On June - 18 - 2007
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Good old fashioned fight club… We need more of these to cope with the unnecessary stress of modern life. It’s a known fact.

Every third Saturday, for more than a year now, “farm boys and city boys” don boxing gloves and helmets at the Underground Saloon a few miles north of Hartford “to find out what they got” by punching and kicking each other under the watchful eye of tavern owner Scott Flitsch..

“Any form of fighting is allowed. Just no knees or elbows,, no cheap shots, no bone breaking,” said Flitsch, whose Washington County tavern draws about 250 people, five times his regular Saturday night crowd, to what he calls Underground Fighting Competition.

Flitsch’s slugfests began in early 2006 while he and some bar patrons were watching a Spike TV show about Ultimate Fighting Championship, commonly referred to as UFC, on the television above the bar.

“We thought we could put something on like that,” he said.

The increasing popularity of UFC and of competitions like Flitsch’s prompted the Slinger Village Board on June 4 to introduce an ordinance, patterned after one passed in Milwaukee a decade ago, that would outlaw such events. It has to be reviewed at two more meetings before it can be adopted.

The ordinance would prohibit “ultimate or extreme” fighting events for which a state license has not been issued. The measure, which borrows language from a 1996 Milwaukee ordinance, defines ultimate and extreme fighting as “any combination of boxing, kicking, wrestling, hitting, punching or other combative contact techniques.”

Interesting to say the least!

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You must have been high…

Posted by admin On June - 12 - 2007
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Damn, I’m glad I only got probation + $36. That judge was a pushover. Ha ha I kid.

A 21-year-old Bridgeton Township man who was arrested in March for masturbating in a Wal-Mart dressing room with women’s undergarments and a couple of magazines had an explanation for his behavior in Bucks County Court today.

He was high.

After entering a guilty plea, Joseph Eric Renno told Bucks County Judge Rea Boylan that he had been high on marijuana at the time, and had moved away from his Franconia Township home to get away from bad influences that contributed to the incident.

Boylan said she thought there was probably more to it. She sentenced Renno to 12-months probation, ordered him to stay away from the Wal-Mart and required him to undergo mental health and substance abuse evaluations. Renno will also have to pay $36 in restitution to the store for the ruined undergarments.

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Anyone home?

Posted by admin On June - 12 - 2007
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Yes it’s a great way to go. Unfortunately, in my town every fourth person is elderly and the thought of all these people dying all around me, rotting away is kind of Stephen King.

The skeletal remains of an elderly woman were found Friday in her home, more than seven years after neighbors last reported seeing her.Ann M. Simmeck apparently died of natural causes, according to an autopsy conducted later Friday. She would have been 79 years old.

The autopsy could not determine the year and date of her death, believed to have occurred several years ago inside her split-level ranch home.

The home, which bears a strongly worded “no trespassing” sign, still had working electric service. Calendars and food inside the freezer were dated 1999 and earlier, neighbors who talked with investigators told The Hartford Courant.

Officers visited the property Friday and found Simmeck’s skeletal remains after a family member became concerned about Simmeck’s absence and called police.

“The last time I physically saw her was 1998, 1999,” said Mary Carlson, Simmeck’s neighbor since 1997.

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Naked Granny Calendar

Posted by admin On June - 12 - 2007
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And the advantage of being young is the ability of me to push you off a cliff in your 68 Merc whilst singing “Mercury Blues”. Keep your clothes on, it frightens the aliens away. If they don’t make enough with calendar sales, they can always give toothless blowjobs at $10/per. $5 if the customer wants to haggle. No free ones, though.

Giving sultry looks and sexy smiles to the camera, 12 Pittsburgh-area women recently posed at Monongahela historical sites, baring it all - or almost all - to create a charity-driven calendar. The catch?The nearly nude ladies are all in their 70s and 80s, driven to adventure by a desire to raise money for a historical society in Monongahela, a small community 17 miles southeast of Pittsburgh.

Overcomin
g fears the priest would walk by during a photo shoot or embarrassing their children and grandchildren, the women - all well-known members of the tight-knit community - are now eagerly awaiting the calendar’s debut next month. The money it generates will go to the Monongahela Area Historical Society.

“One of the advantages of being old is that you can do anything you want and get away with it,” said 80-year-old Lois Phillips, who as Miss September was photographed in the back seat of a 1968 Mercury convertible.

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“designer vagina” craze

Posted by admin On May - 26 - 2007
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What is so wrong with retreading a worn out pussy anyway? No one cares if you are on dick number two or two hundred.

It does amaze me as to how many women that I meet who think that their pussy is ugly. A man’s or woman’s (ha ha Sam) hairy ass, now that’s ugly. I’ve yet to see a pussy on an otherwise attractive and clean woman that I wouldn’t dive into. Gaping or tight.

The fashion is being driven by commercial and media pressures that exploit women’s insecurities and is fraught with unknowns, including a risk to sexual arousal, the British Medical Journal (BMJ) says. Known as elective genitoplasty, the surgery usually entails shortening or changing the shape of the outer lips, or labia, but may also include reduction in the hood of skin covering the clitoris or shortening the vagina itself.

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Wank wank salad supreme

Posted by admin On May - 26 - 2007
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I can’t believe this little fucker jerked off in the salad dressing and got off so easy. No pun.

A judge has ordered a 17-year-old to pay a $750 fine and perform 120 hours of community service for contaminating salad dressing with semen and returning it to a suburban Chicago high school’s cafeteria.

DuPage County Judge Terence Sheen also placed Marco Castro on two years probation Wednesday and ordered him to write a letter of apology to Wheaton North High School officials. Castro must complete his community service work for an agency that works with AIDS patients.

Sheen called the prank “beyond stupid.” “If you prove to me you’re worthy of another chance, in two years, then I will give it to you,” Sheen said.

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FBI Agent caught with pants down

Posted by admin On May - 26 - 2007
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What’s gross is he was probably examining “evidence” left in the sanitary napkin disposal box. Desperate way to get a sniff of some snatch.

Agent Ryan Seese was arrested May 3, shortly after a cleaning lady observed him whackin’ off in the women’s restroom of the student union. Um, allegedly.

According to the campus police report,

“As she was wiping off the last stall door, furtherest south, the door was opened by a white male standing inside the stall with his pants below his knees. (The woman) went on to say she saw his penis and the male was masturbating by rubbing his hand over his erect penis.”

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Mickey, Donlad, Daisy and the guys

Posted by admin On February - 28 - 2006
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The only place where dreams come true. Disney Land. Just dont go in any of the employee doors, or you might see one giant fuck fest.

Authorities were investigating allegations by a Disney employee that she was raped by four other Disney employees, the Orange County Sheriff’s Office said Monday.” … When the alleged victim tried to leave, the suspects forced her onto the sofa, “removed her clothing and held her down,” and took turns raping her, the report said. “In essence it was a gang rape. There were four people being accused and all four of those individuals were accused of having a sexual relationship with a woman against her will.


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